Going With The Ebb & Flow

Sometimes we are trying so hard to swim against the current that when we stop to look around, we're still in the same place we've been fighting to get out of, only that much more exhausted and disillusioned than when we first got there.

So what's the alternative? Do we just give up and give in?

No.

Take a moment to be still. Assess your surroundings and strategize.

There's no need to let our fight turn us into into lifeless seawood, just bobbing around after a while.

Ask yourself what is it that you're fighting so hard to get out of? 

What is it that's so bad that you need to get as far away from it as possible?

Identify it and break it down further.

Keep asking these questions over and over again, until you find yourself at the core issue - the root of your inner turmoil.

Now ask yourself where do you go from here?

Do you keep fighting and tiring yourself out?

If so, how has that been working out for you?

What's the point in reaching the life of your dreams and discovering that you're too exhausted to enjoy it?

Instead of fighting so hard against it, what can you do to work with the current so that it can take you to where you need to go?

Fighting against the current means using up all your energy,only to find yourself right where you started. This is when hopelessness and self-pity creeps in, and soon you lose focus on the journey.

Going with the current of your life does not necessarily mean that you are choosing to be complacent or in agreement with the environment you're trying to rise above from.

If anything, turning around to work with the current means that you are determined to get to your happy place alive and well, and with enough energy and zest left in you to enjoy a life that you so truly deserve.

It's about tact. It's about trusting that the difficulties you are facing are for good reason.

Let your surroundings help you to move in the right direction. 

Let your difficulties make you strong enough to carry yourself out of them.

Life is rough for the most part, and you don't have to always agree with it. But as long as your focus is on making your dream life a reality, you'll find that the current of your life, in its own unpredictable ebb and flow, will work to get you there.

Stop fighting. Be patient. Start working.

Understanding The Purpose Of Loss

By Dilshaad Bux. By Dilshaad Bux

By Dilshaad Bux.        By Dilshaad Bux

Have you ever thought about the similarities between loss and growth?

It may sound absurd, and impossible to compare, but this life - with all its ups and downs, and ups again - have brought me to observe, and believe, that loss is just as important for our progress as any progress. 

Loss, just like growth, is an inevitable part of life - when we are born, we lose our place of comfort, the first home we've ever known because, after 9 months, we've outgrown it and are ready for our new home. 

Likewise, every breath that we take, from our very first breath, our very first cry, is a process of loss and growth. We inhale oxygen to grow, and then lose carbon dioxide by exhaling. We let go off our first breath for the sake of the next. 

Loss, like growth, is crucial for our renewal. Milk teeth give way to stronger, more permanent teeth. Our skin cells die and fall away to make space for newer, more revitilized skin. Everything about us is about experiencing loss, and growing into a better version of ourselves through these losses. 

So why think of external loss as any different? 

We become so hopeless when we experience a loss in our lives, yet we forget to see that this loss can only be ever be good for us. 

It is only natural for loss to help us grow. A painful break up, the loss of our job, even the loss of a loved one - as difficult and impossible as it may seem to overcome at the time, loss is good for us, because it only means that we are strong enough and ready to grow yet again, and even more. 

Losing a loved one is probably the toughest form of loss that us as complex, compassionate beings can experience. The very fact that we have the power to acnowledge such loss, reflect on it, and eventually return to a normal way of life, is proof in itself of our great nature - a nature that has been granted to us from our very first breath, and that we are responsible of pursuing from every moment there on out. 

Whether loss is great or small, and whether it is inside you or outside in your environment, its purpose will always be for you to grow, yet again. 

When you experience a loss again, great or small, be sure to affirm that this is all part of your inevitable growth. Take from it what you need to learn, grow, and get that much closer to your true, great potential.

Your Diamond Self

If life were to be breathed into a diamond, this diamond would open its eyes as a woman. 

Beautiful, unbreakable. 

This is a woman. This is you. 

Women are born with so many gifts - including strength, courage, compassion, humility, and love. These are the facets of every woman's diamond self, with love being the most brilliant and admirable of them all. 

The natural traits of a woman are taken for granted by many women, and are therefore seldom respected by anyone else. Just like a diamond, we too deserve to be respected. To be respected, we must carry ourselves with grace, even on our worst days.  

Do not be deterred by your struggle. The obstacles and difficulties in your life are all part of your polishing process. Through your struggle you will discover your strengths, your gifts, your talents - your diamond self. 

We often make the mistake of believing that our difficulties are greater than us, but the truth is we already have everything we need to overcome even our greatest obstacle. 

All we have to do is keep going, keep perservering, and maintain a positive attitude no matter how difficult it may seem. 

Maintaining positivity is often a challenge, but we can work on this by being aware of the words we use in our daily activities and conversations - with others and, just as importantly, with ourselves. 

By embracing positivity we will ultimately unearth our greatness, and our true beauty will be revealed. By showering ourselves with positive actions, words and even thoughts, we will realize the great worth of our inner and outer beauty, and we will ensure that it is respected by everyone, including ourselves. 

This beauty is the only one of its kind. 

Your diamond self deserves to be protected, respected, and loved by you without limits. Only when you can truly love and respect your one-of-a-kind self, will others love and respect you too. 

As you go through this life you owe it to yourself to use every precious moment you have, and every challenge you face, to pursue your greatness and shine as the true diamond you are.

Tests Of Excellence

This life is a series of tests - every bad experience a lesson to gain tools from, every good experience a reward for our perseverance.

When we can think of life this way, we will be less concerned with what we own or how much we earn. Instead, we will focus on being good and happy.

Goodness and happiness may seem like simple concepts, and it is because of this simplicity that it is often shrugged off as unimportant. Many consider the pursuit of goodness and happiness to be a playful past-time, important only to flower-children and fairies. 

But they couldn't be more wrong. There's nothing airy-fairy about striving for goodness and happiness, because to be good and happy you have to be as tough as nails.

Everyday we are bombarded with bad news and bullies - in the workplace, in the media, and often even in our own homes. To maintain our willingness to be good and happy through all of it requires strength. So be proud of yourself for pursuinggoodness even when life feels like it's all bad, and know that you are strong beyond measure when you are able to smile at the end of a rough day.

This life is made up of tests designed especially for you, to push you out of your comfort zone and closer to your great potential. 

As with every lesson worth learning, your tests come only when you have been given all the knowledge you need to pass with excellent results. 

Reflect on the experiences you have. 

Listen to what your daily encounters teach you. 

Gather your tools, and embrace every test with strength - strength that you've been unaware of, strength that you've had all along.

No matter how difficult it may be, or how many questions you feel like you do not have answers to, don't give up. 

Don't allow failure to be an option. You were born to excel. So work hard at your excellence everyday. Practise goodness and happiness even in on your most difficult day, and reap the rewards of a life superbly lived.

This Woman's Promise

In honour of the first day of National Woman's Month in South Africa, let us make a promise to ourselves as women - a promise that we will live every moment, from right now, in pursuit of self-acceptance and self-love. 

Let us promise to accept everything about our physical selves - from that bump on our nose, to the way our hair curls at the first sign of rain. 

Let us promise to honour our hands because even when they are rough from hard work, they are still soft - on our children, our partners and our fellow human beings - as they express our tenderness and our Divine ability to love.  

Let us promise to accept our non-physical selves - with all our hopes and fears, our dreams and our gifts, and the heritage that runs through our veins. 

Let us promise to celebrate our individual cultures with dignity and joy as they express a beautiful part of ourselves that has been entrusted to us, by previous generations, with love. 

There was a time when it became okay - no, extremely important - to lose who we truly are, in order to become a person that nobody can actually be. But this time has come to pass. And we, as women, have the power to ensure that this time does pass, and that history never feels the need to repeat itself again. 

When we wipe off our make up, un-do our hair, take off our high heels, and stand in front of each other, barefoot and real, with no distractions, then we will see just how beautiful we are. 

There is no such thing as the perfect woman - the perfect body, the perfect hair, the perfect lips, the perfect waistline. But there is a real woman, and she is here, standing in front of other real women, proud and excited to be who she truly is - herself. 

There is no one like you. Perfection is overrated. We are meant to stumble, fall, learn, and rise.

We are perfectly imperfect. 

All of our scars, our stretch marks, our birthmarks and bruises, are our battle scars in this beautiful life. They are testaments to our courage, our strength, and our capacity to love and to be loved, to be great and to encourage others to be great, against all odds. 

When we can accept who we are, as we are, then we will be able to accept our sisters as they are. Instead of competing against each other from a place of fear, we will work together from a place of love, we will recognize our common struggles and triumphs, and we will raise each other up. 

So, during this significant month and everyday after, let us promise ourselves that we will accept and love ourselves and our sisters as we all are, and that we will continue to pursue our great potential together, because we have been granted the privilege and the honour, not only of being human, but of being women. Strong, beautiful, courageous women.

Hometown Glory

By Dilshaad Bux. By Dilshaad Bux

By Dilshaad Bux.        By Dilshaad Bux

One of the unsung beauties of a vacation is the feeling of being unknown and unrecognized, free to observe and absorb an ethnic energy that we would otherwise never have the opportunity to experience. 

In this way, we elevate ourselves from our small-world thinking. We expose ourselves to different ways of being, different struggles, and different examples of endurance and triumph. 

Some of the best holiday destinations in the world are not found in first-class destinations, but in third-world countries, where locals overcome the challenges of their land so much so that we find ourselves inspired by them, and we keep coming back, over and over, just so that we can feel their love and zest for life again. 

We're always seeking an escape, somewhere to go to and get lost in. We think that we can only reignite our life's spark by fleeing our own situation and getting as far away as possible, even for a little while. 

We go through our lives not seeing our own triumphs, and noticing that our own stories and struggles inspire so many around us, and keep them coming back to us, over and over again. 

We all need a vacation every now and then, but I think instead of waiting for that time to come around once a year - or once in a lifetime - we should look around ourselves, in our own environment and take the time to step out and experience our hometown as a tourist would. 

More than that, we need to look at ourselves and admire our struggles with as much awe and respect as we would with anyone else who embodies strength and endurance.  


See yourself through the eyes of a stranger. 

Experience your hometown with the bright-eyed bewilderment of a tourist. 

Recognise the strengths of your community and your self, and use this as a fuel to change all the things that you do not like about your circumstances and your surroundings. 

Make your homeground one that keeps you and everyone else coming back, over and over, to embrace your love, your light, and your ethnic energy. The world will thank you for it.